I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
