Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
