My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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