I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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