Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
