On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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