Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
