we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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