Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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