apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
