After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
