I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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