you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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