i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
