i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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