If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
