omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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