did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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