yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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