why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
