That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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