margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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