I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
