# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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