I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
