I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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