its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
