mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
