He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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