Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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