I didn't shave. On purpose
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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