awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
