im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
