Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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