Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
