so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
