sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
