if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
