You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
