I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
