what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize