She is in my trunk
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
