goodnight i made you a song goodbye
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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