No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
