were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
