Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
