So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
