Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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