If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
