I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
