Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
