ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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