Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
