party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
