How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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