i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
