Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
