my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
