That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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