arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
