i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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