so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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