I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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