You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
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