Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
